The Uses of Not

It’s cleaning day in the Autodidactive Society’s cave, and time for rehashing the old woes about having way too much Stuff and way too little space. I have the unfortunate habit of conflating acquiring with actually doing, and have had the somewhat belated revelation that I acquire as a way of putting off doing. If I don’t do, I don’t fail, but look at all of the great intentions I’ve purchased! Yes, this is a strong cup of tea with an ibuprofen chaser just waiting to happen.

I’ve known for years – probably decades at this point – that having too much Stuff is also a grand way to stifle creativity and one of the ways to actually get my projects done before my untimely demise is to pare down interests to a sparse handful at a time, and pare down supplies so I have the space to accomplish what I want to get done. Of course, I’ve also been dealing with the perfect storm of a dysfunctional marriage, undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, being a de facto single parent of three closely spaced offspring, and having zero time in which to deal with my smothered creativity. In other words, no time, no resources, and no head-space to get done what needed to be done, or to recognize that maybe I’m packing way too much into a twenty-four hour day.

Life intervened. Doesn’t it always? My marriage of nearly thirty years finally finished crumbling, my children simply aren’t children anymore, and the ADHD is being dealt with after finally being identified. Oh yes, and Covid-19 reared its ugly noggin. So: Static disruptor has moved on, may he have a long and happy life; the children can run the house without my constant input or worry about whether anything will blow up or fall down; I can finally start putting together the routine that I’ve desperately needed all of my existence, and I’ve been put in comprehensive lockdown so I can’t run away and ignore anything.

I have decades of intentions to deal with at this point. I have nearly a quarter century of accumulation in this house alone. I have so much Stuff that it would be really very easy to just throw my hands up in the air and retreat into endless looping of the Internet. In fact, I have a lot of practice in throwing my hands in the air and going down informational rabbit-holes. However – yeah, there’s always one of those, isn’t there? – I need to be creative again. NEED. I haven’t been able to be myself in so long that I’m about ready to claw my way out of my own skin. The less destructive option is the boring, in both senses, job of sorting out my Stuff and categorizing, culling, cleaning the vast screaming wilderness of it all.

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The Uses of Not

 

Thirty spokes

Meet in the hub.

Where the wheel isn’t

is where it’s useful.

 

Hollowed out,

clay makes a pot.

Where the pot’s not

is where it’s useful.

 

Cut doors and windows

to make a room.

Where the room isn’t,

there’s room for you.

 

So the profit in what is

is in the use of what isn’t.

 

Tao Te Ching

English version by Ursula K. Le Guin

 

I highly recommend getting your hands on a copy.